is that I'm average at everything.
I don't have a huge interest in something.
And that's not good because I'm in college... I should have something I'm interested in so that I could pursue that field.
I envy people who are passionate about art or passionate about science or passionate about anything at all.
Even if that person can't draw good, I envy how that person has the motivation to improve his or her drawing skills.
Me?
Nothing.
Sure, I want to be a nurse... but am I passionate about it?
No.
Sure, I like science.
But am I passionate about it?
No.
Gah.
I need to stop.
I need a break.
From everything.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I did one too ohohohoho
What was the first thing you did this morning?
-Check my phone to see what time it was lol. Then I saw I got a text message and it said "penis". Thanks angela. I love waking up to that. Please send me more.
What is your favorite cereal?
- special K lol.
Would you rather marry a millionaire that is unfaithful or middle class worker that only has eyes for you?
- Middle class worker who only has eyes for me.
Would you rather have a job that requires strength of the body or the mind?
- Both lol. I want to work out my mind and body c:
How old were you when you had your first kiss?
-I haven't had a first kiss yet.
If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would be the first thing you’d do?
- uhhhh.... walk around half naked.
What is the scariest thing that has ever happened in your life (that you can share)?
- When I blacked out at school lol.
Would you ever consider plastic surgery?
- Only if a terrible tragedy happened to me.
What skill do you feel is stronger: your math skills or your english skills?
- English lol.
Are you following the Presidential race?
- No :c Not as much as when I was following the 2008 race.
Do you consider yourself more of a liberal or a conservative?
- I hate politics... but I think I'm more of a liberal than a conservative.
If you could spend a day in another person’s body, living their life; who would it be and why?
- I'd want to be Paris Hilton because I want to walk around with my dog and say "That's hot" all day long.
If you had to choose, would you rather be blind or deaf?
- deaf.
Who is the one person who can always make you laugh?
- You guys and poopfacesmellybuttfeetlicker Clinton.
If you and a member of the opposite sex were the last people on earth, but they looked like Cruella Deville and Mister Ed had a baby, would you procreate? (Just to populate the earth)?
- No lol. Not because of the looks... but because I just can't have sex with someone I don't even know. That's really selfish... but I mean... once the baby's born, who's gonna procreate with my baby? :l
What are you passionate about?
- I love cats.
Do you believe in abortion?
- yeah. I believe that if something horrendous happened to the girl and she got pregnant or the girl really can not afford to take care of the baby because of family situations, because she's a druggie, because of money, or because of a medical problem that will put the mother and child in danger, abortion is alright. But... like emily said, if a girl has had like numerous abortions... then yah that girl should get her tubes tied.
Imagine you’re an inmate waiting on death row.
- ok 8D
What would you request for your last meal?
- Probably my mom's cooking lol.
What is the one trait that is mandatory in a potential partner?
- I'd have to agree with honesty.
Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
- Living with 10 cats and 5 dogs.
-Check my phone to see what time it was lol. Then I saw I got a text message and it said "penis". Thanks angela. I love waking up to that. Please send me more.
What is your favorite cereal?
- special K lol.
Would you rather marry a millionaire that is unfaithful or middle class worker that only has eyes for you?
- Middle class worker who only has eyes for me.
Would you rather have a job that requires strength of the body or the mind?
- Both lol. I want to work out my mind and body c:
How old were you when you had your first kiss?
-I haven't had a first kiss yet.
If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would be the first thing you’d do?
- uhhhh.... walk around half naked.
What is the scariest thing that has ever happened in your life (that you can share)?
- When I blacked out at school lol.
Would you ever consider plastic surgery?
- Only if a terrible tragedy happened to me.
What skill do you feel is stronger: your math skills or your english skills?
- English lol.
Are you following the Presidential race?
- No :c Not as much as when I was following the 2008 race.
Do you consider yourself more of a liberal or a conservative?
- I hate politics... but I think I'm more of a liberal than a conservative.
If you could spend a day in another person’s body, living their life; who would it be and why?
- I'd want to be Paris Hilton because I want to walk around with my dog and say "That's hot" all day long.
If you had to choose, would you rather be blind or deaf?
- deaf.
Who is the one person who can always make you laugh?
- You guys and poopfacesmellybuttfeetlicker Clinton.
If you and a member of the opposite sex were the last people on earth, but they looked like Cruella Deville and Mister Ed had a baby, would you procreate? (Just to populate the earth)?
- No lol. Not because of the looks... but because I just can't have sex with someone I don't even know. That's really selfish... but I mean... once the baby's born, who's gonna procreate with my baby? :l
What are you passionate about?
- I love cats.
Do you believe in abortion?
- yeah. I believe that if something horrendous happened to the girl and she got pregnant or the girl really can not afford to take care of the baby because of family situations, because she's a druggie, because of money, or because of a medical problem that will put the mother and child in danger, abortion is alright. But... like emily said, if a girl has had like numerous abortions... then yah that girl should get her tubes tied.
Imagine you’re an inmate waiting on death row.
- ok 8D
What would you request for your last meal?
- Probably my mom's cooking lol.
What is the one trait that is mandatory in a potential partner?
- I'd have to agree with honesty.
Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
- Living with 10 cats and 5 dogs.
Monday, September 12, 2011
yup.
So... for the past week or so, I've been feeling pretty shitty. Especially at night. I don't know why but I've been crying every night. It's just for no reason at all. Then, just yesterday, I got my period. I then understood why I've been feeling so emotional all week. When I got my period, I was happy because that meant that my PMS should stop. Oh man was I wrong. Last night was the worst night ever. It started around 6ish. I was feeling pretty annoyed and irritated at everything. Then, at 8 or so, I had this urge to want to cry again. I went to the bathroom and cried. Then, I went back into my room thinking all was done. Nope. I wanted to cry again so I went downstairs and watched tv and cried. Then, I went back to my room and pretended to sleep. I cried some more.
While crying last night, I felt so alone. I didn't feel like myself at all. The scary part was that while I was lying in bed, I thought about how peaceful it would be if I died right now. I have no idea why that thought ran into my head. And, what even scared me more was that the thought of dying was so peaceful to me that it lulled me to sleep.
I cried some more today. I don't feel as crappy as I did yesterday, but I still cried.
idk I hate my body.
While crying last night, I felt so alone. I didn't feel like myself at all. The scary part was that while I was lying in bed, I thought about how peaceful it would be if I died right now. I have no idea why that thought ran into my head. And, what even scared me more was that the thought of dying was so peaceful to me that it lulled me to sleep.
I cried some more today. I don't feel as crappy as I did yesterday, but I still cried.
idk I hate my body.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Emily W, My Love...
Wow.
Where to begin? haha
This week has been really crazy hasn't it? I'm still trying to wrap my head around what you told us and I'm still trying to process it.
It's so shocking to me because even though I'm not the birth mother of your child, I still feel like I'm also having a child because we're so close to each other. I'm sure the others feel the same way too. But no matter what, the gang and I will always be here for you. We may not be able to give you the financial support or help be there for you 24/7 to help take care of the baby, but we will be there emotionally for you. 24/7. c: <333
I love you, you big hunk of goo <3
PS. Yes, did you tell John that he's getting his balls and penis ripped off? I hope you did so he can prepare himself.
Where to begin? haha
This week has been really crazy hasn't it? I'm still trying to wrap my head around what you told us and I'm still trying to process it.
It's so shocking to me because even though I'm not the birth mother of your child, I still feel like I'm also having a child because we're so close to each other. I'm sure the others feel the same way too. But no matter what, the gang and I will always be here for you. We may not be able to give you the financial support or help be there for you 24/7 to help take care of the baby, but we will be there emotionally for you. 24/7. c: <333
I love you, you big hunk of goo <3
PS. Yes, did you tell John that he's getting his balls and penis ripped off? I hope you did so he can prepare himself.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
hurrhurr
haha this is just a response to your post emily c:
I often wonder about that too... the whole staying with someone forever thing. I know there are people out there who likes the rush of falling in love over and over again with different people. But for me, I honestly just want one person. I know I'm young haha. I shouldn't expect my first one to be the one and that there would possibly be many others... but is it silly of me to only want one? To me, I just don't like the thought of falling in love over and over. It just seems so tiring. I think that in a relationship, there will be those boring periods where both people are bored with each other. But I think that's the beauty of relationships. If you both really loved each other, you both would keep trying to make that spark come alive again. I guess being bored with each other is a testament to see how much you really love each other. If you aren't willing to make it work, then you really didn't love that person as much as you say you did.
Those cavecanum secrets really scare me too haha. It seems like there are so many cheaters out there or people who want to end their relationships because they're bored with each other. I read on yahoo just the other day where this reporter interviewed a couple who has been together their whole lives almost haha. I think it was 80+ years. They're both centarians now. The reporter asked them what their secret to staying together for so long is... I don't really remember what they said though LOL. Even though stories like these are really sweet, the cavecanum secrets knock me out of this "together forever" fantasy I have lol.
I'm really glad you see john as the one emily. I don't think it's silly to think that he's the one even though you're so young haha. I can sincerely feel the love you both have. You both are really comfortable with each other and I envy that. When you guys have kids, I'll be sure to teach them many things. ohohohohohohohohohhohohohohho. No but seriously, I'm really happy for you two. Even though there were hardships both of you had to endure, I'm glad both of you pulled through and still love each other unconditionally.
I often wonder about that too... the whole staying with someone forever thing. I know there are people out there who likes the rush of falling in love over and over again with different people. But for me, I honestly just want one person. I know I'm young haha. I shouldn't expect my first one to be the one and that there would possibly be many others... but is it silly of me to only want one? To me, I just don't like the thought of falling in love over and over. It just seems so tiring. I think that in a relationship, there will be those boring periods where both people are bored with each other. But I think that's the beauty of relationships. If you both really loved each other, you both would keep trying to make that spark come alive again. I guess being bored with each other is a testament to see how much you really love each other. If you aren't willing to make it work, then you really didn't love that person as much as you say you did.
Those cavecanum secrets really scare me too haha. It seems like there are so many cheaters out there or people who want to end their relationships because they're bored with each other. I read on yahoo just the other day where this reporter interviewed a couple who has been together their whole lives almost haha. I think it was 80+ years. They're both centarians now. The reporter asked them what their secret to staying together for so long is... I don't really remember what they said though LOL. Even though stories like these are really sweet, the cavecanum secrets knock me out of this "together forever" fantasy I have lol.
I'm really glad you see john as the one emily. I don't think it's silly to think that he's the one even though you're so young haha. I can sincerely feel the love you both have. You both are really comfortable with each other and I envy that. When you guys have kids, I'll be sure to teach them many things. ohohohohohohohohohhohohohohho. No but seriously, I'm really happy for you two. Even though there were hardships both of you had to endure, I'm glad both of you pulled through and still love each other unconditionally.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
So...
I found my closure guys. I'm happy now haha. I still have a melancholy feeling, but I feel way better than before. I didn't know asking him that simple question and him answering it would make me feel 10 times better. Yeah just updating you guys on it so you guys wouldn't have to worry about me c:
I love you guys so much. Thank you for making me feel better.
I love you guys so much. Thank you for making me feel better.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Thanks guys...
for making me feel better today. I guess I just really needed someone's shoulders to cry on. Even though he broke up with me thursday and we hung out on friday... in between that time, I felt so lonely. I went from feeling empty to sad to empty again. You guys are right... I do need that closure. I need him to tell me straight out if he still wants to make this work or leave entirely. One part of me is scared for the answer but the other part really wants to know where this is going to go. I don't want to be confused any longer. I still do love him though... but what did I expect? haha I mean what was the probability that we were going to be together "forever". The naive, totally-out-of-reality part of me really wanted him to be the one. But let's face it... he is my first. There might be more to come or we might just get back together again. Either way, I'm really glad you guys were here for me tonight... and for many nights to come. I would've gone mad if I stayed home thinking about it by myself. I'm really just happy you guys are here for me. And I will always be here for you guys too.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Dear Emily
It's okay to cry my love.
I wish I could be by your side 24/7, but alas I can't. I would love to be that robot that would hold onto you while you cried. You really are a strong person. As emily said, I think you've seen most of us cry. You always told me to just cry it out. So my love, cry it all out. Don't hold anything back. We are here for you. We all love you from the bottom of our hearts and we will be the pillars to hold you up when you feel like falling. When we were at Cha, I would see tears in your eyes after you looked up from your phone. I wanted to wipe those tears away <3 Oh my darling, I wish I could whisk you away from this pain and insomnia you're experiencing. I really wish I could.
I love you.
I wish I could be by your side 24/7, but alas I can't. I would love to be that robot that would hold onto you while you cried. You really are a strong person. As emily said, I think you've seen most of us cry. You always told me to just cry it out. So my love, cry it all out. Don't hold anything back. We are here for you. We all love you from the bottom of our hearts and we will be the pillars to hold you up when you feel like falling. When we were at Cha, I would see tears in your eyes after you looked up from your phone. I wanted to wipe those tears away <3 Oh my darling, I wish I could whisk you away from this pain and insomnia you're experiencing. I really wish I could.
I love you.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Angela&Emily
It's true what you guys say about how friends should tell each other the truth. Nothing should be sugarcoated. I sure wouldn't want any of my friends to sugarcoat something when I honestly want the truth from them. But I honestly can say that from the bottom of my heart, you guys will find someone. This is the truth. I am not saying this because I have someone already. I am not believing that you guys will find someone just because I have someone. I've believed this even before I found someone. I've felt that loneliness before. I've wanted to have that feeling of being loved by that one guy I loved back. I wanted to feel the warmth of just knowing that he's thinking of me. Yes, sometimes I wondered if I'll ever find that guy. I went through a stage where I was for sure that I would never find someone. Boy, that thought really brought me down.
You two are honestly amazing girls. The truth is, right now, I believe that you both are just not in the right time or in the right place. This year may not be the year when you guys find that guy, but next year might. And when next year passes and that guy is still not found, then there will be the year after that and the year after that and etc. Either way, you both will find someone.
Yes, it's true. Reality is, there are some people who do not find that special someone ever in their life. But reality for me is that both of you will find someone. Being pessimistic about finding that perfect guy is not going to help. I agree that if you both channel those feelings and turn it into positive feelings and into finding happiness that doesn't involve a guy, both of you will be much happier. Like Emily said, enjoy life guys. Enjoy what's in the moment right now. It's nice to look into the future but please, don't ever put yourselves down and be pessimistic about it. You both are too amazing to not have an amazing future. I guarantee that you both will find someone. But like I said, right now it might just not be the right time or the right place.
I love you both <3
You two are honestly amazing girls. The truth is, right now, I believe that you both are just not in the right time or in the right place. This year may not be the year when you guys find that guy, but next year might. And when next year passes and that guy is still not found, then there will be the year after that and the year after that and etc. Either way, you both will find someone.
Yes, it's true. Reality is, there are some people who do not find that special someone ever in their life. But reality for me is that both of you will find someone. Being pessimistic about finding that perfect guy is not going to help. I agree that if you both channel those feelings and turn it into positive feelings and into finding happiness that doesn't involve a guy, both of you will be much happier. Like Emily said, enjoy life guys. Enjoy what's in the moment right now. It's nice to look into the future but please, don't ever put yourselves down and be pessimistic about it. You both are too amazing to not have an amazing future. I guarantee that you both will find someone. But like I said, right now it might just not be the right time or the right place.
I love you both <3
Saturday, April 16, 2011
teehee
Yesterday night was fun.
I love cooking with you guys <3
We must do it more often lol.
Earlier this time so that we can stay with each other longer 8D
I looooooved all of your food guys! (:
yum yum in my tummy <3
I love cooking with you guys <3
We must do it more often lol.
Earlier this time so that we can stay with each other longer 8D
I looooooved all of your food guys! (:
yum yum in my tummy <3
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Beauty
So since you guys have been writing about body image, I feel like writing about it too lol
I truly, from the bottom of my heart, feel like each and every one of you guys are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met in my life. True, you guys are different in so many aspects (except for your weirdness)but that's what makes you guys beautiful and wonderful. I mean, I sometimes even tell Clinton how beautiful you guys are and that I'm astonished that you guys can't see it. I could go on and on about how beautiful you guys are inside and out haha. And I agree with you guys. I hate how the media perceives what a beautiful body should look like. They really make us feel shitty when we can never look like the models or celebrities that are on the front pages of magazines or in our favorite television shows or movie. I admit, like all of you, I've had some major body image issues when I was little. I really felt ugly and disgusted with myself. I hated the way my thighs looked. They never seemed perfect to me. Never slender like how a model's legs looked like. Never long like them either. I also hated the way my face looked. I hated my face shape. I looked at pictures of people with an oval face shape and I fantasized about getting plastic surgery to shape my face into an oval shape. I was so disgusted with my face when I was little that I hated looking into the mirror. I hated the face that was staring back at me. I also dreamed about getting liposuction to suck out all the fat in my thighs and my arms. I really thought that getting liposuction would make me taller because all the fat in my thighs was what was stunting my growth. And, this may seem really silly, but I also had thoughts that maybe after I was born, my mom decided to switch my legs with another baby's legs. I know, stupid right? But that's how much I wanted to change myself. I was just really disgusted with the way I looked. Haha and weight? Weight was something that was constantly on my mind. I was never happy with my weight and I still am not. Truthfully, I don't think I will ever be happy with my weight. But, I will never starve myself to get skinny. I love food too much haha. But, I have to admit. When I got really sick one time and I threw up everything I ate (when I mean everything, I mean EVERYTHING), I lost about 10 pounds in a week. I was so happy and I was thinking "wow, this really works... what if I continue this?" But, of course I didn't become bulimic. I'm glad I didn't.
But I'm better now guys. Of course there are days where I feel like the ugliest person, but I'm able to look myself in the mirror now and say "hey, you're not that bad." And just like you Emily J, I now sometimes feel pretty. It's not often, but I'm glad I have that confidence that I used to not have.
I hope for the day where we all feel good about ourselves. Where we all are happy with what we look like. Because honestly, we are not bad. Especially you guys <3
I love you guys to death. <3
I truly, from the bottom of my heart, feel like each and every one of you guys are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met in my life. True, you guys are different in so many aspects (except for your weirdness)but that's what makes you guys beautiful and wonderful. I mean, I sometimes even tell Clinton how beautiful you guys are and that I'm astonished that you guys can't see it. I could go on and on about how beautiful you guys are inside and out haha. And I agree with you guys. I hate how the media perceives what a beautiful body should look like. They really make us feel shitty when we can never look like the models or celebrities that are on the front pages of magazines or in our favorite television shows or movie. I admit, like all of you, I've had some major body image issues when I was little. I really felt ugly and disgusted with myself. I hated the way my thighs looked. They never seemed perfect to me. Never slender like how a model's legs looked like. Never long like them either. I also hated the way my face looked. I hated my face shape. I looked at pictures of people with an oval face shape and I fantasized about getting plastic surgery to shape my face into an oval shape. I was so disgusted with my face when I was little that I hated looking into the mirror. I hated the face that was staring back at me. I also dreamed about getting liposuction to suck out all the fat in my thighs and my arms. I really thought that getting liposuction would make me taller because all the fat in my thighs was what was stunting my growth. And, this may seem really silly, but I also had thoughts that maybe after I was born, my mom decided to switch my legs with another baby's legs. I know, stupid right? But that's how much I wanted to change myself. I was just really disgusted with the way I looked. Haha and weight? Weight was something that was constantly on my mind. I was never happy with my weight and I still am not. Truthfully, I don't think I will ever be happy with my weight. But, I will never starve myself to get skinny. I love food too much haha. But, I have to admit. When I got really sick one time and I threw up everything I ate (when I mean everything, I mean EVERYTHING), I lost about 10 pounds in a week. I was so happy and I was thinking "wow, this really works... what if I continue this?" But, of course I didn't become bulimic. I'm glad I didn't.
But I'm better now guys. Of course there are days where I feel like the ugliest person, but I'm able to look myself in the mirror now and say "hey, you're not that bad." And just like you Emily J, I now sometimes feel pretty. It's not often, but I'm glad I have that confidence that I used to not have.
I hope for the day where we all feel good about ourselves. Where we all are happy with what we look like. Because honestly, we are not bad. Especially you guys <3
I love you guys to death. <3
Thursday, March 24, 2011
crazy night guys.
I can't believe we just witnessed an insane car accident today D:
But guys... if he was drunk (which he probably was), I'm so glad he did not crash into us. D: Especially since we were next to him... I say that's a miracle in itself haha.
I love you guys and I'm so glad none of us got hurt today <3
But guys... if he was drunk (which he probably was), I'm so glad he did not crash into us. D: Especially since we were next to him... I say that's a miracle in itself haha.
I love you guys and I'm so glad none of us got hurt today <3
Thursday, March 10, 2011
DERP
I'm seriously happy right now guys (:
I have a japanese script I have to act out in about 20 minutes, but I'm so happy that I don't even care! haha
I really can't wait for our road trip <3
We HAVE to take this trip no matter what... especially since emily will be gone by the end of this year ):
Being a hermit to save up money until that time will totally be worth it for me 8D
love you guys <3
I have a japanese script I have to act out in about 20 minutes, but I'm so happy that I don't even care! haha
I really can't wait for our road trip <3
We HAVE to take this trip no matter what... especially since emily will be gone by the end of this year ):
Being a hermit to save up money until that time will totally be worth it for me 8D
love you guys <3
Saturday, March 5, 2011
LOL
I'm sorry I dropped such a big bomb on you guys yesterday LMAO
I'm glad you guys accept it though.
I was so afraid that you guys would be like WTF
Thanks guys <3
I love you all
I'm glad you guys accept it though.
I was so afraid that you guys would be like WTF
Thanks guys <3
I love you all
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Happy Birthday Emily
I love you <33
I am very grateful to have you in my life. We've gotten so close through these years and I'm very glad that you've been there for me through my toughest times and my happiest times. You really do brighten up my life, as do the rest of you guys. (:
I hope you have a great year being 19 <3
We'll catch up to you soon. (:
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thank you.
Recently, ever since school started, I've been having mental breakdowns and anxiety attacks that came out of nowhere. I was so scared about not being able to finish my GEs on time and not being able to get into my nursing program.
I was basically deteriorating.
But you guys have really really helped me a lot. You guys supported me throughout it even though I sounded like a little whiny baby. Haha I even found myself to be annoying complaining to you guys so much. But, I'm sincerely very grateful to have you guys as friends. You guys never gave up on me and made me laugh even when I was feeling my lowest. My spirit has been brought back up much higher now (:
These past couple of days, I would sleep on my bed and I would think about how blessed I am to have you guys (: Without you guys, I really wouldn't know what I'd do with all these negative feelings bottled up inside me.
I sincerely think we will all grow old together and be the cool old ladies with our scooter chairs playing bingo every night.
I was basically deteriorating.
But you guys have really really helped me a lot. You guys supported me throughout it even though I sounded like a little whiny baby. Haha I even found myself to be annoying complaining to you guys so much. But, I'm sincerely very grateful to have you guys as friends. You guys never gave up on me and made me laugh even when I was feeling my lowest. My spirit has been brought back up much higher now (:
These past couple of days, I would sleep on my bed and I would think about how blessed I am to have you guys (: Without you guys, I really wouldn't know what I'd do with all these negative feelings bottled up inside me.
I sincerely think we will all grow old together and be the cool old ladies with our scooter chairs playing bingo every night.
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