yup.

So... for the past week or so, I've been feeling pretty shitty. Especially at night. I don't know why but I've been crying every night. It's just for no reason at all. Then, just yesterday, I got my period. I then understood why I've been feeling so emotional all week. When I got my period, I was happy because that meant that my PMS should stop. Oh man was I wrong. Last night was the worst night ever. It started around 6ish. I was feeling pretty annoyed and irritated at everything. Then, at 8 or so, I had this urge to want to cry again. I went to the bathroom and cried. Then, I went back into my room thinking all was done. Nope. I wanted to cry again so I went downstairs and watched tv and cried. Then, I went back to my room and pretended to sleep. I cried some more.

While crying last night, I felt so alone. I didn't feel like myself at all. The scary part was that while I was lying in bed, I thought about how peaceful it would be if I died right now. I have no idea why that thought ran into my head. And, what even scared me more was that the thought of dying was so peaceful to me that it lulled me to sleep.

I cried some more today. I don't feel as crappy as I did yesterday, but I still cried.

idk I hate my body.