I feel so drained. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Sometimes, I don't even know why I'm alive. It gets harder everyday to find that one reason to wake up in the morning. I don't greet a new day with optimism or expectancy anymore. I have nothing to look forward to. I feel as if I'm a robot programmed to do the same routine day in and day out. Nothing is new. I feel like there is always something holding me in place and I can't move forward nor backwards. I hate this. But most of all, I hate me.

It was great seeing all of my lovelies today <3 Had so much fun. Olive is adorable like always c: Can't wait to go out with you all soon uhuhuhuuh.

"Goodbye, my love, my friend, my pain, my joy. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye."

Sometimes, I look in the mirror and think to myself "Wow Tendy. Why are you so ugly?" "Why is your face so fat?" "Why is your face shaped like that?" "Why are your eyes so misshapen?" "Why is your nose so pig-like?" "This is why no guys like you." "You're too ugly." Yeah... on days like this, I feel so hideous that I don't want to go out. When I do go out, I feel like everyone's staring at me because I'm a hideous creature. Today is such a day. Luckily, I stayed home the whole day.